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Will ‘The Smurfs’ Make One Cranky Guy and Two Groovy Girls Blue?

by on August 7, 2011
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Bruce: We’re gathered here to discuss The Smurfs, a movie based on an old cartoon about little blue people who use the word “smurf” to mean everything. The question is, Olive and Rosa: Was the movie smurftastic or pretty smurfing bad?

Olive: I didn’t know what pun you’d come up with this time, but I knew you’d come up with some pun.

Rosa: It wasn’t fantastic, but it wasn’t horrible.

Olive: It was pretty good. I agree.

Bruce: There’s a line at the end of the movie when Grumpy Smurf says, “I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would. Don’t get me wrong—I still hated it. Just not as much as I thought I would.” That’s how I felt about this movie. Had you heard of Smurfs before this movie?

Rosa: No.

Olive: I think I had some faint idea of a Smurf.

Bruce: That’s the weird thing. I felt like I was too old for this movie, because the Smurfs were popular in the ’80s, when I was too old for cartoons about little blue people. And you guys are too young to remember Smurfs. But still a lot of people are going to see it. Why is that?

Rosa: Because they’re little blue creatures.

Olive: Little kids are like, “Smurfs are so adorable! Let’s go and see it!”

Rosa: I didn’t like the boss in the movie.

Olive: Gloria? I’m sorry, what’s her name?

Bruce: Sofia Vergara. She plays Gloria on Modern Family.

Olive: How can you not love her?

Bruce: (to Rosa) Have you ever seen Modern Family?

Rosa: No.

Olive: Then you don’t know how to love her. And they stuck Tim Gunn in there, and they made him say “Make it work.”

Bruce: He’s on Project Runway—that’s another show Olive and I watch together.

Olive: They just stuck him in there. I don’t know why they did that.

Bruce: Did you know Neil Patrick Harris, who played the lead?

Olive: He’s on How I Met Your Mother.

Rosa: I didn’t know his name, but I recognized him.

Bruce: He shows up when the Smurfs get sucked through a vortex into modern-day New York City. I think they did that because it’s cheaper to film a movie in New York City than it is to do animation for the whole movie, like they do in the beginning.

Olive: Yeah, but it was kinda just like Alvin & The Chipmunks.

Rosa: I think they got the idea from Alvin & The Chipmunks.

Olive: The idea of little animated things in…

Rosa: A modern story. I definitely think it was better than Alvin & The Chipmunks.

Bruce: Even the first one?

Olive: Well, I don’t know about that. The Chipmunks movies are getting worse and worse.

Bruce: We saw the preview for the third one today.

Rosa: Chipwrecked.

Olive: It’s like, stop already!

Bruce: So why did you like The Smurfs better?

Rosa: I don’t know—it was just a better movie.

Olive: It had a better concept. They didn’t just have random animated chipmunks going through trouble.

Bruce: What did you think of Smurfette? It’s weird that they only have one girl smurf.

Olive: She was okay. Who played her?

Bruce: Katy Perry. Did you get it when she said, “I kissed a Smurf and I liked it”?

Olive: I knew that it was from that song, but I didn’t know it was her.

Bruce: What’s up with…Scottish Smurf? What’s the name of the one who wears a kilt?

Olive: I don’t know! Laddie Smurf?

Rosa: I think he was like… I forget.

Bruce: They say all the Smurfs’ names are based on their personalities. So that would make me Cranky Smurf. What would your Smurf names be?

Olive: Rosa, you’d be Harry Potter Freak Smurf, and I’d be Chocoholic Smurf.

Olive: So in the Smurfs cartoon, was it about them trying to escape from Gargamel?

Bruce:  Yes. That’s pretty much all it’s about.

Olive: I like that they didn’t take the characters and do something completely different. And is the cat in it?

Bruce: Yes, Azrael’s in it.

Olive: I liked that.

Bruce: They stayed true to the spirit of the Smurfs. I thought the story line about Neil Patrick Harris’ character creating an ad for makeup was kind of weird, though. I didn’t think kids would be interested in that.

Olive: Why is this man working for a makeup company?

Bruce: Men can’t work for makeup companies?

Olive: They can, but why would you put that in a movie?

Bruce: Good question. So was there a message in this movie?

Olive: Always believe in yourself. Because Clumsy messes everything up but then in the end he saves everyone. And smacks two people in the face.

Rosa: So many stories are about going home. They find themselves in a different place and then they have to go home. Like The Wizard of Oz, E.T.

Bruce: Do you think they’re going to make another Smurfs movie?

Rosa: I hope they don’t make another one. Unless it’s a good one. Because many sequels are bad.

Olive: If it’s successful, they’ll make another one where it’s Christmas and they come back. They pop up in someone else’s home, because the actors from the first Smurfs movie don’t want to do it again.

Bruce: Would you recommend this movie to your friends?

Olive: Maybe not to our friends, but to, like, 7-year-old girls. Who like Smurfs.

Did The Smurfs smurf your smurf? Post a comment and One Cranky Guy and Two Groovy Girls will respond!

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4 Comments
  1. Holy s— (In case Olive reads her own reviews of her reviews)… she is her father’s daughter, that’s for sure…

  2. It is. I’ll get the exact comment I thought of you (Scanning….) “Olive: If it’s successful, they’ll make another one where it’s Christmas and they come back. They pop up in someone else’s home, because the actors from the first Smurfs movie don’t want to do it again.”… like father, like daughter

  3. By the way… when you sit with the girls and ask these questions… are you Bill Cosby or Brad Garrett?

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